“We won't get back to you!”

Welcome to Apex Talent Group

At Apex Talent Group, we don't care wether your a actor, singer, performer or entertainer, there's a 0% chance we'll give a fuck! Wether day, night, fall, winter, we're never responsive! Hell, we don't even care if you're a ACTUAL celebrity!

Our Mission

To launder our money/gain a small profit for doing fuckall, we make sure to extract the maximum amount of money in your pockets, in return for a guaranteed NO RESULTS!

How It Works

  • You email us your headshots.
  • It goes directly in our throw-away email that WE DON'T CHECK.
  • We reply three months later, maybe.
  • We'll take credit for your future success anyway.

Recent Successes

One of our clients almost booked a commercial once. Another was in the background of a Netflix show for three frames. Dreams do come true, just not for you.

Quote of the Week: “Talent is everywhere. Or so we think, we haven't checked.”

News And Updates
Apex expands to another bland building in THE GIANT APPLE!

Now offering paid consultations that are 80% just fucking hold music!

Agents spotted caring about clients! Fired immediately!


Contact

Email: info@apextalent.fuckyoubum
Phone: (555) 404-CARE