Because we've stopped trying a while ago, and you've stopped THINKING a while ago.
We don’t innovate, we recycle last year's phone and slap a new camera on it!
Each SlopPhone is filled with slop with the help of our countless cent-paid workers in oversea factories.
Our AI assistant “SLOPPI” listens, won't help, and is gonna sell your info to COUNTLESS data brokers!
Enough SLOP to rot through McSlopson's political scandal's, but don't count on it to call for help!
Our founder, Johnson McSlopson, innovator of our time, envisioned a world where people dont have to think! Now that he's left us to our DEVICES to run for president of the Giant Apple, we made that world come true! now with Sloppi AI, no more does your brain have to be filled thoughts, only SLOP! SLOP SLOP SLOP!
McSlopson himself doesn't use SlopPhone, but that doesn't mean we can't lie to your face and make him advocate for you to use our shit!