JOHNSON MCSLOPSON

Welcome to the Official Johnson McSlopson Campaign Website

He's older than that weird jar of spices in your cabinet, and he's as dusty as it too. McSlopson doesn't only not care about your livelyhood, he's determined to completely ruin it for his own gain.

About Johnson

Born in an expensive hospital and raised by the RAT ELITE, McSlopson learned early that money is essentially free if you know how to finesse dumbfucks! Now, he’s running for Mayor to make sure that you continue to fund him and his drug addictions (Cocaine, Meth, Horse Tranquilizers)

Policies (Kill yourself)

• Infrastructure: He’ll fix the roads his donors drive on.
• Housing: He'll let the poor build the slums themselves, free labour!
• Environment: He loves clean air, and clean coke.
• Transparency: About as clear as a wooden door.

Upcoming Events

Come meet Johnson at one of his exclusive fundraisers (minimum entry: 10,000 SlopBucks, 1,000,000 USD). You’ll get to shake his hand and feel the faint residue of wealth and cologne, and the hatred he feels for you.

From the Candidate

“New York deserves a leader who knows how to manipulate paperwork and voters (dumbfucks) alike. I’m that guy.” — Johnson McSlopson